In Stitches
by Mako Headrush
Summary: Reno and Cloud are newly dating, and Reno injures himself on Fenrir...in a most unfortunate area.  Two-shot.  And, sadly, based on a really stupid stunt I tried to do on my ex's bike.  Don't try it at home!  Yaoi, CloudxReno
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Reno and Cloud are newly dating, and Reno injures himself on Fenrir. In a most unfortunate area. Two-shot. And, sadly, based on a really stupid stunt I tried to do on my ex-boyfriend's motorcycle. Don't try it at home. :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy, Square Enix does, this fic is only written for fun.**

* * *

It was the first day of spring, and Cloud had just finished with a full day of deliveries. After the last one, he stopped by the bar at Seventh Heaven to pay Tifa a quick visit, and relax with a beer, while waiting for Reno to show up for their date. They'd planned to grab dinner out – in Reno's words, "at one of those restaurants where they give you a roll of paper towels, instead of napkins." It was a barbeque joint, and a very good one at that. Cloud had been looking forward to seeing Reno all day. They'd been dating for some time by now, but not too long where it had become old hat. Cloud still got that happy nervous feeling in his stomach, any time he thought about seeing Reno again.

He hadn't realized he was sitting there just smiling, until Tifa pointed it out to him. "You look happy, Cloud," she remarked, smiling herself as she wiped down the bar. "Hmm. I wonder if Reno has anything to do with that?"

Cloud blushed and muttered unintelligibly. "Um…yeah, well…maybe," he murmured, staring intently at the label on his bottle of beer, fingering the curling edges of paper as he avoided Tifa's inquisitive gaze. Finally, realizing that she wasn't going to stop staring until he acknowledged her, Cloud sighed and looked up. "What now, Teef?" he asked. Cloud hadn't bothered to fill Tifa in on the fact that he and Reno, after months of madly flirting with each other, were finally actually _dating_. He figured that once Tifa found out any tidbits about his dating life, it'd be all over the Edge Times, how the Planet's hero was now dating a _Turk_.

"Spill it, Cloud," she replied, throwing her bar towel down, and leaning her elbows on the bar, staring down Cloud. "I want to know what's going on. You and Reno meet here every day after work, and make stupid faces at each other. Then, you usually leave..._together_. I _know _what's going on," she concluded triumphantly, grinning.

"Tifa," Cloud said, smirking. "First you say you want to know what's going on. Then, you make all sorts of insinuations about me and Reno, and tell me you _do _know what's going on. So which is it? Do you know, or not? Or maybe you _think _you know something..."

"Oh shut up, Cloud!" Tifa exclaimed, throwing the towel at Cloud. "If you won't tell me, I'll just ask Reno. Oh, and speaking of Reno...here he comes..." Tifa announced, as she spotted the Turk out the front window.  
"Where?" Cloud said nervously, slamming down the rest of his beer, and shoving the empty bottle toward Tifa. "Another one, please, Teef," he said.

"Bit jumpy, aren't you, Cloud?" Tifa said teasingly, grabbing another bottle of beer from the cooler, opening it, and setting it in front of Cloud.

As private as Cloud was about his personal life - Reno was the complete opposite. As he entered the bar, Reno's face broke out into a huge grin once he spotted Cloud sitting on a barstool, waiting for him. He bounded over to him, crossing the room in three quick strides, and pulled him into a bear hug, practically pulling Cloud off of his barstool. "I missed you," Reno whispered, brushing his lips against Cloud's in a soft kiss. "Missed you too, Reno," Cloud replied, smiling.

Tifa looked on, smirking. "I _knew _it!" she hissed at Cloud. "What'll you have, Reno?" she asked, turning to the Turk, who was taking the seat next to Cloud.

"The usual, yo," he replied, smiling. "Whiskey. So...what are you talking about, Tifa? You know what?"

Cloud sighed, and smiled as he sipped his beer. "Tifa," he explained to Reno, "has been peppering me with questions about my dating life. About us."

"You mean you haven't told her yet?" Reno replied, incredulous. "Dude. That's cold. Isn't Tifa your best friend, yo?"

"Yes, Tifa _is _his best friend," the bartender replied, sarcastically, glaring at the swordsman.

Cloud groaned. "Can you two _please _stop talking about me, as if I'm not even in the room? I was going to tell you, Tifa - no, don't look at me like that, I was! I just wanted to make sure-"

"Make sure of what, yo?" Reno interrupted, impatiently.

"Gods, can I _finish_?" Cloud replied wearily. "I wanted to make sure...that Reno felt the same way. About me. Before I made any...formal announcements."

"Formal announcements?" Reno burst out, hooting with laughter. "Formal announcements, yo," he repeated. "Dude, it's not like we're getting _married _or anything. Yet, anyway." Reno blushed suddenly, and stared very intently at the ice cube floating in his whiskey tumbler.

"Uh, okay," Cloud replied nervously, blushing as well. "Right. So...now Tifa knows. Yes, Reno and I are together. We are _dating_. Are you happy now?"

"Yes, I am!" Tifa replied cheerfully, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "Although, I do feel bad for Reno, having to put up with your moody ass..."

Reno tittered, and practically choked on his whiskey. "She's got a good point there, Spikey," he commented, chuckling. "So. What are we doing tonight?"

"We're going to that barbeque place, remember? Over on Fifth Street," Cloud replied, leaning toward Reno. He gingerly placed his hand over Reno's back, and stroked it gently. Cloud wasn't big on public displays of affection, but - as he reasoned - Tifa had outed them. So to speak.

"Mmm," Reno purred, leaning back into Cloud's hand. "I've got something else you can rub," he whispered, grinning evilly at Cloud.

"Maybe later," Cloud replied, smirking as he recalled the first time he and Reno had sex - on their first date. _That was pretty unexpected_, Cloud mused, smiling, as he replayed the memory of that evening over in his head.

"What are you smiling about, Cloud?" Reno asked, finishing his drink. The two stood up from their seats, apparently ready to depart.

"Nothing," Cloud replied, grinning. "Just remembering our first date."

Tifa, within earshot, decided to butt in. "Oh! What'd you two do on your first date?" she inquired.

"Each other," Cloud said simply, gazing at Tifa steadily, as he threw several gil notes on the bar for a tip, as they left. "See ya, Teef," he said, waving, grinning at her open-jawed, shocked expression. Reno snickered, as the two exited the bar.

"Dude, that was _awesome_," Reno shouted the moment they stepped outside. "Seriously. Did you see the look on her face? "

"I did," Cloud replied, grinning. "She walked right into that one, you know."

"Can I drive Fenrir?" Reno begged, as they walked up to Cloud's motorcycle, parked out front. "Can I? Can I?" The Turk grabbed onto the handlebars, apparently attempting a handstand.

Cloud sighed, and reached into his pocket for his keys. "I suppose," he said, agreeing reluctantly. "I am a little bit tired from driving all day-Reno!" he shouted suddenly

Reno had now moved over to the seat, and was trying to do a handstand on _that_.

"Reno, please," Cloud pleaded. "Don't fuck around, you'll get hurt."

"I won't get hurt, yo, I'm a Turk," Reno retorted, launching himself vertically, as he stood on his hands, on the seat of Fenrir. "Look! I did it!" Suddenly, his right hand slipped, and he fell - landing on the handlebars of the motorcycle. His mouth formed into a soundless _O _as his groin took all of the impact of the fall.

"Reno! I told you-oh gods, are you okay? Reno?" Cloud demanded, worriedly. Reno slid off the bike in a boneless heap, as Cloud rushed over to catch him before he fell to the ground. "Reno, talk to me!"

"H-h-h-hospital," Reno managed to get out, in a whisper. "I think I broke something. Like...my balls."

"Shit," Cloud muttered. "Come on. Can you walk?"

"No," Reno squeaked pathetically. "This...really puts a damper on the evening, yo."

"Yeah. I'll say," Cloud replied dryly. "Do I need to call an ambulance? I don't think you want to get on Fenrir now, in your...condition."

"Call...Rude," Reno managed to gasp, handing Cloud his cell phone. "Here. He has a car..."

"Of course," Cloud replied, locating Rude's phone number in Reno's contacts, and dialing. "Rude?" Cloud said, as he heard the Turk answer the phone. "It's Cloud. Wait, what? How did you know Reno was hurt?" He shook his head in amazement. "Yeah, he um...did hurt himself, and we need to get to the hospital. And I only have a motorcycle, so...yeah. We're at Seventh Heaven right now, out front. See you in a few. Thanks. Bye." He hung up the phone and handed it back to Reno.

"Rude'll be here in a few minutes," Cloud reported. "For some reason...he automatically assumed I was calling him because you were hurt."

"Yeah," Reno whispered, sounding pained. "My partner knows me well. Shit, this fucking _hurts_, yo. And don't tell me I told you so, babe...please..."

"I won't," Cloud assured Reno. He was now sitting on the sidewalk with Reno, who was leaning into Cloud's shoulder, about to pass out from pain.

"Thank you," Reno murmured gratefully, smiling at Cloud. "You've got to admit...life with me is never boring, yo." He leaned his head back into Cloud's chest.

Cloud smiled, and sighed as he wrapped his arms around Reno. "Nope," he muttered under his breath, chuckling, as he brushed his lips against Reno's hair. "It never is boring, that's for sure."


	2. Chapter 2

Within minutes, Rude had pulled up to the curb in a sleek, black sedan. He wordlessly exited the vehicle, and opened the back door so that Cloud could get Reno in the back. "Thanks…partner," Reno managed to get out, still grimacing from pain. The hint of a smile worked at the corner of Rude's mouth, but he said nothing as he slid back into the driver's seat. Cloud managed to get Reno seated in the back of Rude's car, and sat next to him, shutting the door.

"Where to?" Rude inquired, glancing in the rearview mirror.

"Midgar General, I guess," Cloud replied. "That where you usually go?" he asked Reno.

"Usually," Reno said, grunting with pain, "more often than not, I just have Tseng patch me up. This is a little, um…embarrassing, though."

"Sort of a delicate area, isn't it?" Cloud quipped, trying to hide a smile.

"It's not funny, yo!" Reno protested, whimpering as he curled into Cloud's side. "I wouldn't laugh if it was _you_," he retorted.

"Yes you would," Cloud countered, smiling. He wrapped his arm around Reno in a gentle hug, and stroked his arm.

"Yeah, I suppose I might," Reno admitted, with a small smile. "I hope I didn't rip my nuts off," he moaned.

"I think you'd know if you ripped your nuts off, Reno," Cloud snorted. "Seriously, you'd _know_. Hopefully it's just a flesh wound."

"Ya know, I heard about this guy one time," Reno began. He shifted, and laid his head in Cloud's lap. "He was jumping a chain link fence, and he timed it wrong. Anyway, his goods got caught – and he got ripped open. Left his right nut on the fence."

"Ohh!" Cloud gasped, flinching. "That sounds awful! Reno, why are you even thinking about this now?"

"Well, obviously," Reno snapped, "my little…uh, miscalculation with the bike reminded me of that. "Anyway, so this dude had to have his nut reattached, but he had to keep it uh…moist, and warm, until he got to the doctor's. So his friend that was with him, carried it in his mouth."

"Okay, Reno," Cloud said, bemused. "Now I know you're making that up."

"I am not!" Reno protested. "I swear to Gaia, that's exactly how I heard it! Now I don't KNOW the guy or anything like that—"

"An urban legend, is what it sounds like," Cloud stated dismissively.

"Would you do that for me, Cloud?" Reno asked seriously. "I would for you. I'd carry your nut in my mouth."

Cloud burst out laughing. "I'm sorry, Reno," he snorted, wiping tears from his eyes. "But that is probably the most fucked-up, yet sweetest thing you've ever said to me."

"Would you still love me if I only had one ball?" Reno asked mournfully.

"I—yes, I would still love you, Reno," Cloud said solemnly, noting to himself that he and Reno hadn't exactly exchanged _I love you's_ yet. _He's obviously hallucinating,_ Cloud thought dismissively_. Reno will forget what he said in the morning_.

"Ow," Reno whined pathetically. "Fucking hurts, yo."

"We're here," came Rude's voice from the front seat, as he pulled up to the emergency department of Midgar General Hospital. He rolled the sedan practically up onto the sidewalk, and parked it; then, ran around to the back, to open the door for Reno and Cloud. "Thanks, Rude," Cloud said gratefully as he exited the vehicle, gingerly helping Reno out.

"Yeah," Reno said weakly, attempting a smile. "Thanks…partner."

"Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid on his way to triage," Rude muttered, smirking. "I can't leave the car here – you need me here, Cloud? I can park out back, or…"

"Don't worry about it, Rude," Cloud said. "I'll get Reno inside…if we need a ride back anytime soon, I'll call you on my cell. Thanks again."

"No problem," Rude said, waving. "See ya."

Cloud threw his arm around Reno and hoisted him up, carefully walking him into the hospital. "I can get a wheelchair—" Cloud began.

"No," Reno insisted, grimacing. "Hurts to sit, yo. Oh, shit, Cloud—I'm going to yak." He leaned over to the side, and vomited forcefully onto the sidewalk. "Shit," he groaned. "My stomach hurts."

"Did your stomach hurt before?" Cloud asked him, concerned. "Let's get you inside, Reno, come on. I'll help you."

"It didn't hurt until just now," Reno said, frowning. "Maybe something I ate, yo. Oh, FUCK!" he yelped, doubling over in pain.

"I'm getting you a wheelchair," Cloud said firmly. "Wait right here." Reno slumped against the wall, nodding. He decided not to argue with Cloud – especially since Cloud was right this time, Reno was in no shape to walk.

Moments later, Cloud came flying out of the automatic double doors with a wheelchair, nearly running down some people trying to enter. "Watch it!" snarled the man Cloud almost collided with.

"Sorry!" Cloud apologized breathlessly. "Here, Reno, got you a chair." He wheeled over to the wall that Reno was half-slumped against, and helped him into the chair.

"Ow!" Reno yelped, as he sat. "Motherfucking son of a toothless whore, this fucking _hurts_, Cloud!"

"I know it does," Cloud murmured, sighing. "I'm sorry, I just want to get you inside…I'm just trying to help…"

"I know you are," Reno mumbled, shifting uncomfortably in the wheelchair. "Thanks, babe."

"Let's get you inside," Cloud said, steering Reno toward the door, and the admissions desk. Reno produced his insurance card – carefully doing so, as he extracted his wallet from the back pocket of his pants – and handed it to Cloud, who answered most of the admitting nurse's questions regarding Reno's injury. Reno sat there in a fog, half-hearing the conversation going around him, as if he weren't even in the room.

Suddenly, a searing hot pain hit Reno in his stomach, and felt as if it were travelling down to his leg. "Oh my fucking gods!" he screamed in agony, clutching his abdomen. "Make it stop! Make it fucking stop!"

It was the last thing he remembered saying before falling out of the wheelchair, and passing out onto the floor.

* * *

_Several hours later…._

Reno knew he had a huge smile on his face when he woke up, but he didn't quite know why. Nor was he entirely certain of where he was, or who he was with. He knew one thing, though – he felt blissfully happy and rested, as if he'd had a good night's sleep.

_Where the hell am I, though?_ Reno wondered, feeling confused. Opening his eyes, he blinked several times, as everything came slowly into focus. Looking down, he noticed an IV in his hand; and, he was most definitely in a hospital gown. And in a hospital bed, come to think of it.

He looked up suddenly, as the door to his room opened, and a nurse entered. "Well hello there," she said, greeting him. "How are you feeling?"

"What…what just happened?" Reno asked groggily. Alarmed, he tried to sit up suddenly, and winced at a pain in his side. "Cloud! Where's Cloud?" he demanded.

"You'll need to not do that again, sir," the nurse chided him, adjusting some pillows behind his back. "You have stitches, and I don't want you tearing them out. Mr. Strife is out in the waiting room, and I'll send him in as soon as the doctor says you can have visitors."

"Oh, good," Reno replied. "I can't wait to see him…wait, what happened to me? I don't remember anything, except…falling out of that chair and hitting the floor."

"The doctor had to perform an emergency appendectomy," the nurse informed him. "Your appendix very nearly ruptured, you know."

"No shit!" Reno exclaimed, clearly surprised. "What about my balls, though? I mean, uh…I came in here with a testicle injury," he corrected himself, his face reddening.

"Yes, I know," the nurse replied, bemused. "It appears all is well in that…area, sir. Doctor will be in shortly to go over your chart with you. In the meantime, I'll need to take your temperature—"

"Please don't stick it up my ass," Reno begged. "There's only one thing I want up my ass, and a thermometer ain't it. Shit, that was out loud, wasn't it. Sorry."

"It's okay," the nurse replied, grinning. "And this is an oral thermometer, so relax.

"Good," Reno said, nodding, allowing the nurse to place the thermometer in his mouth._ Shit, did she have to use the word oral, for Gaia's sake? Now I'm getting all flustered._ He groaned as he felt his groin involuntarily stir, no doubt a result of the thoughts going through his head involving the word oral, and a certain blond swordsman.

"You're normal," the nurse declared, as she withdrew the thermometer.

"That's the first time anyone's ever said that to me, you know," Reno cracked, chuckling.

"I can imagine," the nurse said dryly, smiling. "Here comes the doctor now," she said briefly as she exited.

The doctor entered Reno's hospital room with a chart underneath his arm. "Good evening," the doctor began. "I understand you're a bit fuzzy on what happened earlier, so I'd like to go over everything with you."

"Please, go ahead," Reno replied, listening.

"Well, I know you came in here with an injury to your scrotum," the doctor began. Reno winced at the words 'injury" and 'scrotum.' "As it turns out, however, that was the least of your worries. You had a sudden acute flare-up of appendicitis, which is likely what made you pass out in the emergency department."

"Yeah," Reno agreed. "That shit hurt like a motherfucker! But ah, you took it out, right? I feel all…numb down here," he said, gesturing to his lower right abdomen.

"Yes, your appendix had to be removed," the doctor said, nodding. "Now, you've got stitches there now, and full recovery from this type of surgery usually takes about four to six weeks—"

"Four to six weeks?" Reno demanded, incredulously. "Seriously?"

"Seriously," the doctor replied grimly. "You'll need to have those stitches removed in about ten to fourteen days, so please make an appointment with my office for follow up. Here's my card," he said, reaching into his pocket for a business card, and handing it to Reno. "As for your…other issue," the doctor continued, "there's no problem with your testicles, although they did receive quite a blow."

Reno thought he might bust through his stitches trying not to laugh at _that_. "All told, no permanent damage, although they'll probably be sore for a little while," the doctor said.

"Okay, doc," Reno replied, leaning back into the nest of pillows. "Thanks. Oh, hey – can I have visitors now? The nurse said maybe I could soon—"

"Yes, that'll be fine," the doctor replied, smiling. "There's someone waiting for you, I believe. I'll have one of the aides send him in."

"Thank you," Reno replied gratefully.

Not even half a minute later, and Cloud rushed into Reno's room, hastily pulling a chair up to his bedside. "You okay?" he asked Reno, touching a hand to his face.

"I'm fine now, yo," Reno said, grinning. "They took my appendix out, and I'm all drugged up. What's not to like?"

"Yeah, they told me about your appendix," Cloud replied. "Go figure, huh? How is your, uh…other injury doing?" he asked awkwardly.

"Better," Reno replied. "Still pretty damned sore, but um…I didn't tear anything, apparently."

"Good," Cloud replied, relieved. He reached over and clasped Reno's hand, being careful to avoid the IV stuck in there. "Sounds like you'll be here overnight, at least. I'll stay here, and phone Rude tomorrow morning once you're discharged, and we'll get you home."

"Wait, yo," Reno protested weakly. "You're staying here, Cloud? You..don't have to do that, baby, there's nowhere to fucking sleep. I mean...as much as I'd love you in bed with me," he said, grinning, "this bed is fucking tiny, yo."

"It's okay," Cloud replied, smiling. "I can sleep in the chair. I sweet-talked the nurse into letting me stay. She even got me an extra blanket and pillow."

Reno felt something break inside of him at that. Cloud was willing to sleep all night in a fucking chair, just for him? _I don't deserve this,_ Reno thought, sniffling quickly. _But...I'd do the same for him, wouldn't I? _He smiled at the realization of just what they meant to each other.

"Cloud," Reno said softly, his eyes water. "You fucking shmoozer. Flirting with the nurses just to get your way?"

"I think she's a fag hag," Cloud replied, giggling. "She was putty in my hands."

Reno laughed out loud, grimacing slightly as he did so. "Oh, Cloud," he said, chuckling. "I love you."

Cloud froze, staring at Reno. He felt his heart thudding in his chest, a dull, hollow sound. "You...said that before. In Rude's car."

"I did?" Reno asked, surprised. "Well, I-"

"I thought it just slipped out," Cloud interrupted. "I thought you were...hallucinating."

"I might not have known what I was saying then, Cloud," Reno said softly, squeezing Cloud's hand. "But I meant it. I do love you."

"Bastard," Cloud muttered, sniffling. "Don't make me cry. I...love you too."

"Mmm," Reno purred contentedly as sleep threatened to take over. "Gonna take a nap, now..." he murmured as he began to drift off.

"Okay," replied Cloud. "I'll be right here." He stretched out in the chair, placing the borrowed pillow behind his back, attempting to make his "bed" as comfortable as he could manage. Cloud smiled listening to Reno's soft snores, and eventually followed suit, nodding off a short time later.

* * *

**A/N: Holy fucking SAP, y'all. I don't know what happened toward the end there, but um...yeah. XD  
****There will be one more chapter to this...stay tuned!**

**Oh...and the guy with his nuts on a chain link fence *wince* - I've heard that story a few times, from different people who swore it was true. So maybe it is, maybe it isn't, but it totally sounded like an urban legend type thing. :X**


End file.
